Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
