If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize