I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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