Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
