Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Randomize