i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
