I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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