grandma shit on top of the toilet
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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