it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
