have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Randomize
