What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
