Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
