Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
