google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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