It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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