Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
