Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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