All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
