Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
