I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
