do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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