i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
