im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
