The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize