just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
