yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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