I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Randomize
