it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
