Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
