can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i dont even know how to be here
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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