Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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