What a fucking waste of an outfit
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
