the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
