Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize