dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize