chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
FUCK WHALES
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
