Is it normal to miss your booty call?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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