thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
