Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
