I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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