Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
