Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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