D3 body, D1 cock
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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