You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Randomize
