I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Randomize
