gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
