Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
