STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
