Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
We have started to decorate penises.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize