he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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