he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize