i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
