dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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