I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
