what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
