Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
