Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Life without a bra equals bliss.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize