I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I would fuck him just for his dog
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
