so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
