i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
