addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
