i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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