Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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