I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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