Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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