hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
