I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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